I’ve been back and forth on whether or not I should write this post but, I promised to be honest and so, I’ve got to stick to my guns.
One of the things you learn, well, one of the things I learned in 2017 is that you have to put you first.
No one will say “put your feet up” or “watch your favourite film”. These are things that you have to allow yourself. You earn it.
If you want to cancel plans with friends to put your health first then by God, you do it.
A good friend will understand and say “hey, do you know what, when you’re ready, I’ll be here!”
I cancelled plans last year and for the most part, most were understanding.
Sadly, I went through a shit time towards the end of the year causing my medication to be increased which, naturally, led to me taking some time out.
Now, I’m all for fighting depression and shoving my middle finger to the bastard that clouds my brain however…when my body needs time out, it needs timeout.
Intentionally or unintentionally, I was made to feel quite bad for cancelling plans with someone who for the most part, understood exactly what depression feels like. Perhaps they were going through a bad stage? I don’t know.
All I know is, if you send your friends passive aggressive messages knowing that they’ve been signed off work or are having awful side affects to medication, you need to stand back, take a breath and start again.
I refuse to apologise this year for putting my health first.
You shouldn’t have to apologise for being unwell. I mean, it’s not like we asked for this!
I didn’t make resolutions this year, but instead, I gave myself a talking to…and there are things I want to work on.
Selfish or not, one of those things is me.
If I cancel plans in 2018 please know that it’s not because I don’t want to see you but something has clearly happened and I’m not well enough.
I won’t be issuing an apology.
Morale of the story? Do you. It’s okay.