How the hell did that happen?
I feel like I blinked and voila, it was a new year.
2017 was, I think, one of the hardest.
It was the year my mental health went from bad to worse, causing me to be signed off work for 1 month.
It was the year my relationships at work broke down, my patience ran thin and I couldn’t justify getting up at 7am every morning.
2017 was the year family members struggled with their health.
It was also the year family members continued to talk about me behind my back, putting me down for not owning a home, owning a driving license…apparently, I’m not as “clever” as the others in the family.
That being said, 2017 was also the year I found my strength.
I got up everyday and went to work, not one deadline missed.
It was the year I worked two weeks out of the four signed off work because, despite what my management say and think, I AM driven and resilient.
It was the year I ignored family members and laughed off their bullshit instead of crying for days on end.
It was the year I learned that it’s okay to be selfish. I can come first.
So, I go into 2018 calm, happy and positive.
I know that there’ll be hard days, weeks and months but I refuse to let my anxiety and negativity around me win.
Over the last week, I have been getting to work half an hour early – just so I can miss the commuter chaos at peak times.
I’ve bought lunch into work daily – just so I can put those £5 towards the savings.
More importantly, I’m taking time for me. Lighting candles, sorting through clothes, watching my favourite film…the little things are my biggest victories.
I go into 2018 with a new job (& while I’m absolutely pooping my pants), a fresh start, literally and I cannot wait.
I hope the start of 2018 has been kind to you and if not, there’s always tomorrow.
Do you. Be selfish, your mental health will thank you.
Here’s to a healthy 2018. May we battle through the shit days together and continue to help end the stigma.