Being nice hurts no one…oh wait

I try and be a good friend. 

I pride myself on being loyal, I’ll ‘have your back’ so to speak. 

I’ll be there for you regardless of what I have going on in my mind, I’ll defend you, I’ll stay by your side when everyone turns their back. 

This sounds like I’m giving myself a massive pat on the back…bear with me, I’m getting to the point. 

I genuinely believe that more energy is wasted being negative. I mean, feeling anxious tires me out no end. 

Yet, why is it that whenever I try to be nice, I’m the one feeling pretty horrendous.

Over the last year, I’ve really struggled with a new group of ladies at work. 

Ladies, who I feel are old enough to know better, gossip and belittle others who aren’t a part of their ‘clique’. 

I don’t care I’m not part of their “club”. I’m 29 (wow, first time I’ve said that) and I don’t have time or patience for playground games. 

What I do care about are my friends who are constantly being belittled in front of me. 

Why? Why do people do this? 

Surely, if you’re struggling with someone, you’d approach them and have a conversation? When did it become okay to sit in a huddle and poke fun at someone who isn’t around to defend themselves? 

Growing up, my family (& I use that term loosely) were often very mean to me…never to my face of course. 

I never went without (my mum bought me clothes, I had a roof over my head and I had 3 meals a day) but I never had the bonus gifts & this singled me out amongst my cousins. 

At 16, I was the only not to have driving lessons. Till this day, my grandparents will tell me that my cousins are much brighter than me because they drive. 

I have a degree but you know, more fool me. 

I came from a broken home; I’ve seen the domestics, the fights, mum with a black eye, smashed plates, you name it. 

Yet again, till this day, my grandparents will tell me my mum was stupid for getting with my dad, unlike my cousins who are “pure bred”. 

Which brings me back to the first point. Why go out of your way to intentionally be negative?

What gives people the right, to look down on others from their pedestal and mock, tease and judge?

I might not understand the “banter” that’s thrown around the office, but I’d rather defend than turn a blind eye. 

There’s enough negativity in the world after all. 

On that note, I’d like to remind everyone that it’s important to be kind as you never know what battles others are fighting. 

As a community, we know that more than ever. 

2 thoughts on “Being nice hurts no one…oh wait

  1. Being kind costs nothing! I grew up with Thumpers words instilled in my brain “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all!” It’s sad that those women can find nothing else to talk about except other people. Keep your head high and be glad in the knowledge that you’re a better person than all of them put together. Phase out the mean people, they’ll soon stop when they realise nobody cares about what they have to say.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I find that positivity doesn’t always come naturally, but it yields better results than the alternative. All you have to do is try a little bit. And the fact that there are those of us who enjoy doing for others, and are more on the kind side regardless where we come from, it’s at times infuriating that others don’t do the same.
    All you have to do is try. Just a little. People like you and me have been trying our whole lives. And it’s sometimes unfair people can’t do it for five minutes.

    Liked by 1 person

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